I’m often asked what it is that allows me to achieve real healing and long term success for my clients, and here it is:
I place a rigorous emphasis on the truth, and the results are miraculous.
You can be totally free from porn and your marriage can be restored, but truth is not easy. Some clients find telling the truth too difficult and they quit, but for those that commit to walking in the light and living in the truth, a new life awaits. Addiction is fueled by isolation and secrecy and both of these have to be thoroughly dismantled in order for there to be long term health. Secrecy in a relationship is deception and deception destroys trust and without trust there is no hope for either sobriety or marital restoration.
Telling the truth to the one person you hurt the most is the hardest thing you will ever do, but without this step there will be no true or lasting change. The truth is so intrinsic to breaking a lifelong pattern of addiction that I often use the services of a local polygraph expert. If you want to see me individually but you’re not ready to tell your wife the whole truth, I am not the therapist for you. I have heard wives tell me repeatedly that the deception is as painful and destructive as the sexual betrayal which is one of many reasons why I draw a solid line in the sand in regard to deception. There is no shortcut. There is no easy soft way. You will never be free from your addiction until you are ready to commit 100% to the truth.
If your addiction has driven you to the edge where you are willing to do whatever it takes to restore your sanity and your marriage, you are ready to heal. I have helped countless couples heal from, what originally appeared to be, irreversible damage caused by the lies and betrayal of sex addiction. There is hope for you . There is hope for your marriage. There is a way out.
If you choose this unfamiliar and scary path, you will experience a new freedom and a new level of intimacy. Your life will change. You will no longer fear your addiction, but will be confident in the truth that, with the fellowship of others, you can endure any temptation. You will begin to experience true vulnerability with your wife and she will begin to trust you. Things in your marriage that have been left unsaid will be brought to the light. You will both come to know each other in a deeper and more profound way. You will truly understand what it means to love and be loved.
If you are ready for this journey, give me a call.